Cry If You Want To

Erica Leopold (source: Facebook)

I first heard this song performed twenty-plus years ago by my friend Erica Leopold.

It was written by a woman named Casey Scott, and I am guessing that Erica heard the song when it was recorded by a jazz singer named Holly Cole — although I read in Casey’s bio that she used to live in the Boston area in the 1980s…so maybe Erica heard Casey busking in Harvard Square!

I have found a lot of comfort over the years re-visiting Erica’s version of this song — which she recorded with pianist Doug Hammer and included on her debut CD.

Erica used to attend lots of music festivals and concerts in order to find great songs from all genres — folk, jazz, pop — that she could weave into her own musical performances.

Erica Leopold (source: Facebook)

I produced a couple of her performances when I oversaw events at the Cambridge Center for Adult Education in Harvard Square. I also performed with her several times in a winter holiday benefit series.

She was a generous collaborator, and she “cleaned up very nicely” when it came time to perform — wearing beautiful outfits with elegant hair and makeup.

Erica moved from the Boston area to western Massachusetts, and her singing activities slowed down as she focused on mothering a wonderful daughter who became very involved with horses.

Then (ARGH!!!!!) Erica discovered that she had brain cancer — which she fought with grace and humor for several years.

Erica with a friend (source: Facebook)

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

I biked to visit her when she was getting care in an excellent rehab facility in the Boston area after a big operation. I brought my ukulele and a songbook, thinking that she might like to make some music together.

But after a few songs, I realized that she just wanted to be quiet, make eye contact and hold hands.

So we did that for a while.

“Cry if you want to, I won’t tell you not to, I won’t try to cheer you up… I’ll just be here if you want me.”

Erica hung in there for a long time, with a dedicated network of friends and family visiting her on a regular basis.

She died near the end of 2022…

Here’s a link to her obituary if you are curious to learn a little more about this lovely soul.

And here’s a link to her Facebook page — which offers a beautiful glimpse into her life.

Another deep breath in.

And deep breath out.

A few years ago I learned “Cry (If You Want to)” so that I could perform it with pianist Molly Ruggles during a UU church service in Medford, MA.

And then I recorded it with pianist Doug Hammer last year — in honor of one of my nephews, whose father had recently died.

“It’s no use in keeping a stiff upper lip, you can weep, you can sleep, you can loosen your grip. You can frown, you can drown and go down with the ship… you can cry if you want to.”

The graphic design for my recording of this song juxtaposes a photo taken by my sister Christianne of this nephew walking in a stream on their farm in upstate New York with a professional photo of me when I was about the same age as this nephew (who is covered up by my head to preserve his privacy…)

He will probably be grieving the loss of his dad — in obvious and not-so-obvious ways — for the rest of his life.

“You can stare at the ceiling and tear at your hair, swallow your feelings and stammer and swear…”

Image by Kimut from Pixabay

Yet another deep breath in.

And deep breath out.

I spent many hours this week putting together a Spotify playlist of songs for a baby shower in honor of my niece and her husband.

You may remember them from a blog post I shared in November 2019 about their wonderful wedding.

At the suggestion of her mother I included a lot of songs which our family used to listen to and sing when we were children and teenagers.

Some of them — such as “Stewball” by Peter, Paul & Mary, “I’m Gonna Be A Country Girl Again” by Buffy Sainte-Marie, and “Our House” by Crosby, Still, Nash & Young — moved me to tears.

My Niece and Her Husband (Photo by A Couple of Dudes Photography)

Music can be a very powerful connection to past events, past loved ones, past memories.

One more deep breath in.

And deep breath out.

I wish more of us would set aside time to listen to music and have a good cry.

I have a belief that much of the dysfunctional — and at times horrifically destructive — choices that my fellow human beings make on a daily basis are due to past injuries, past humiliations and past losses which have never been properly acknowledged and grieved.

For example, here’s a blog post I wrote back in 2019 about a very damaged — and damaging — human being who is still in the news these days.

Image by Couleur from Pixabay

When was the last time HE had a good cry?

Does anyone ever offer him an empathetic shoulder to cry on?

I am guessing, “no.”

I have long been fascinated by the way that tears come out of our eyes, which are located near the front part of our brains.

And I often wonder if crying might be part of how our brain processes/grieves/heals itself following an injury, insult or loss…

What do YOU think?

I hope that this song — which offers such a comprehensive, open-hearted, and non-judgmental invitation to cry — might touch the hearts of a few of my fellow human beings who may be feeling a bit shut down and overwhelmed by all that is happening these days here on planet earth.

Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay

One more deep breath in.

And deep breath out.

Thank you to Casey Scott for writing this song.

Thank you to the photographer who took the photo of me as a teenager — when I was still working a little bit professionally (doing voice-overs, commercials and subbing on the soap opera ANOTHER WORLD).

Thank you to my sister for taking the photo of my nephew in the glen and to Stephen Fischer for incorporating it into a graphic design for this song release.

Thank you to Doug Hammer for his sensitive piano playing and nuanced engineering/producing chops.

Thank you to the photographers at Pixabay for their beautiful images.

Image by Inke Raabe from Pixabay

And thank YOU for reading and listening to another one of my blog posts.

If you like this song well enough to listen to it again, you are welcome to stream it by clicking here.

And you are always welcome to visit my musical website by clicking here.

I Believe In Love, Alfie…

Burt Bacharach (courtesy of Wikimedia)

The songwriters Burt Bacharach (music) and Hal David (lyrics) wrote a bunch of great songs together starting in the late 1950s through the early 1970s.

Today I am focusing on their beautiful anthem, “Alfie” (in the player at the top of this blog post).

As I have mentioned in past blog posts, I perform one-hour programs of music which feature a particular lyricist or composer at retirement communities, libraries, synagogues, coffee houses, and memory cafes around the greater Boston area with the help of two different pianists, Joe Reid and Molly Ruggles.

And due to the aging Baby Boomer demographic bulge, a LOT of new retirement communities have been built in Massachusetts in the past 10-20 years.

Most of them — hurrah! — still have real pianos in their community rooms (or auditoriums in the fancier places…)

And they book a significant amount of musical entertainment for their residents.

Some places we visit just once per year.

Image by Jewelia from Pixabay

Other places book us 4-7 times per year.

What’s lovely about doing more frequent musical visits is that we get to become better acquainted with the music-loving residents in their community.

And we have found (no surprise!) that music has an uncanny power to re-ignite memories — which, if we are lucky, the residents will share with us as we are packing up.

Some people’s memories are family-specific and often very poignant — a particular song was played at their parent’s wedding… or was the favorite song of a sister/brother/cousin… or is the song that always reminds them of a specific moment in high school.

One woman, the youngest child in a family of six, shared with us that her beloved older brother had recorded a version of “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” as a present to bring home with him right before he was killed serving in WWII.

That song had become a sacred — and heart-breaking — hymn for her and her family.

She was moved to tears telling us about it almost eighty years after her brother’s death.

And we were honored to listen to her tell us about the significance of this song in her life.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

Cole Porter (courtesy of Wikimedia)

Joe Reid and I started ten years ago with a program of songs composed by Harold Arlen.

Then a resident at one of the places we performed that first show asked us to create a program of Cole Porter songs.

And then the Program Director at one retirement community lent us her favorite CD compilation of Hoagy Carmichael songs.

The work of one great lyricist/composer keeps leading us to another!

So far we’ve put together hour-long programs featuring the songs of Harold Arlen, Cole Porter, Hoagy Carmichael, the Gershwin Brothers, Jerome Kern, Dorothy Fields, Oscar Hammerstein, Lorenz Hart, Irving Berlin, Yip Harburg, Frank Loesser, Johnny Mercer, Sammy Cahn, Jule Styne, and Harry Warren.

We’ve also created programs of songs written for great performers including Fred Astaire, Ethel Merman, Bing Crosby and Judy Garland.

Burt and Marlene in Israel (photo by Fritz Shlezingel — courtesy of Wikimedia)

And now we are venturing beyond music written during the 1920s-1950s — which is what has led us to the songs of Burt Bacharach.

Mr. Bacharach had a long and fascinating life.

His public profile as a pianist, arranger and composer rose significantly after Marlene Dietrich asked him to become her accompanist/band leader — which he did off and on for many years in countries around the world.

I have read Mr. Bacharach’s memoir, and he respectfully insists that his relationship with Ms. Dietrich was never sexual — although it appears that she would have liked it to be.

She championed his music, however, and sometimes would take care of him by cleaning his apartment and then preparing him a home-cooked meal.

According to Burt, she also helped him to juggle ongoing trysts and affairs with a wide variety of women while they were on the road together.

Another woman who played a significant role in Burt’s life was Angie Dickinson, who became his second wife and whose success and connections as a movie star are what led to Burt’s first film scoring opportunities.

Burt and Angie (courtesy of Wikimedia)

Some of Burt’s most beloved songs were created for the movies, including “The Look of Love” (for Casino Royale), “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head” (for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid), and “Arthur’s Theme — The Best That You Can Do” (for Arthur).

In 1966 Burt and Hal David were asked to write something to play over the closing credits of a British film starring Michael Caine.

Hal and Burt read the script, and then Hal wrote a lyric inspired by something that Michael Caine’s character says at the very end of the film which Burt then set to music.

Cilla Black recorded “Alfie” for the British release of the movie, and version by Cher — of all people — was used when the film was released in the USA.

Bacharach and David’s muse Dionne Warwick also recorded her own version which became a big hit — and since then it has been recorded by thousands of people, including me and the pianist Doug Hammer.

Just over ten years ago I wrote a blog post which featured our recording of this song. You can click here to read (or re-read) it if you are curious.

Although we human beings continue to do horrific, greedy, short-sighted, ignorant and evil deeds on a daily basis here on planet earth, I remain a fan of love and kindness — as does the narrator in this song.

Thank you to the photographer who took this Michael Caine-esque photo of me in the late 1960s when I was working professionally as a child (doing commercials, modeling jobs, and voice-overs) in NYC.

Thank you to Stephen Fischer for incorporating it into a graphic design for this song release.

Image by Jm TD from Pixabay

Thank you to Doug Hammer for his beautiful piano playing and excellent engineering/producing chops.

Thank you to the photographers at Pixabay and Wikimedia for their beautiful images.

And thank YOU for reading and listening to another one of my blog posts.

If you like this song well enough to listen to it again, you are welcome to stream it by clicking here.

And you are always welcome to visit my non-blog, musical website by clicking here.