My last few posts have been a bit grim.
So here’s a post filled with joy and happiness.
Last fall my niece married her boyfriend at a beautiful place called the Treman Center in upstate NY not far from the farm where she spent most of her childhood and teen years — and where her mother still lives.
Here she is with her father, husband, mother, brother, and dog.
My niece recently gave me access to a huge cache of their wedding photos, which I plan to feature in two separate blog posts.
Today’s theme is “The Look Of Love…”
The Treman Center is itself a labor of love by a wife and husband team — full of all kinds of beauty. The husband is a tremendous stone mason. The wife is a terrific host who — among her many gifts — is also an extraordinary makes-things-beautiful person.
Beauty can be found everywhere at the Treman Center — as well as whimsy, such as this rubber ducky floating in their reflecting pool…
My niece’s husband’s family also lives in the area, and we have loved becoming friends with them over the past six years.
At first I did not understand why my niece and her (then) boyfriend wanted to have a fancy wedding.
But as soon as I arrived at the Treman Center, I got it.
They wanted to create and share a weekend of love and beauty with a small tribe of their nearest and dearest.
Weddings can be a transformative event not only for the bride and groom, but also for the community of family, friends, and beloved pets whom they invite to surround them, bear witness to their vows, and celebrate with them.
This wedding proved to be a wonderful mix of hands-on work by family and friends + catered deliciousness which wove everyone together in new ways.
For example, the wedding cake was made by the groom’s mother.
It featured custom-made replicas of the groom and the bride plus their beloved dog.
All of the flower arrangements — except for the bouquets and boutonnieres of the bridal party — were grown and harvested and assembled by local family members who spent most of Friday focused on this exquisite undertaking.
Here is some of their — and mother nature’s — handiwork…
All of the wedding favors for guests were also grown, harvested, and preserved by members of our family.
My other sister (the bride’s aunt) is — among many other things — a terrific chef, and she took leadership of a pre-wedding pickling marathon.
Yum!!!
My sisters also canned a lot of peach-raspberry jam…
And my sisters’ neighbors keep bees; so some guests took home jars of local honey, too.
Many friends and family members also pitched in to make pies.
A lot of pies…
They were served from a Ferris Wheel Of Pie — which was something I had never seen before.
And very delicious.
Friday night was the rehearsal dinner, and somehow the caterers were running late.
So everyone — except the bride and groom — pitched in to set up tables, plates, glasses, silverware on the second floor of the elegantly converted barn that is the heart of the Treman Center.
Working together like this is one of my favorite ways to spend time with other human beings — and a tried-and-true way to jumpstart a sense of shared purpose and community.
After dinner the father of the bride — who is a professional trumpeter — and I and a dear friend of the bride and groom who happens to be a great pianist (and who had driven all the way from Norfolk, VA, with his fiancee to be part of the celebration) sang jazz standards at a funky old Steinway which graces the Treman Center.
My niece wore a beautiful and very red dress.
She had a terrific group of friends as bridesmaids, and the spirit throughout the weekend was often quite playful.
The groomsmen were also full of fun and creativity.
I love this photo of the groom and his parents.
The bride’s quietly extraordinary younger brother (my older nephew) was part of the bridal party, and pitched in to help at every conceivable opportunity.
Their mother is a hardworking farmer and photographer who like many hardworking farmers — and photographers — also has a day job.
Currently she works at Cornell University’s department of Fiber Science and Apparel Design — which meant that she was able to have a gown created for her by an up-and-coming clothing designer.
One of the unexpected pleasures of this wedding was seeing friends and family members whom I usually see in shorts and swim suits — or in the case of my sister, a one-piece jumpsuit which she wears when she takes care of the chickens and sheep and gardens on her farm — wearing somewhat fancier clothing.
Everyone cleaned up very nicely!
My younger nephew and some of my younger cousins looked very sharp when they were given permission to drive a golf cart around the venue.
The wedding ceremony was held in a stone courtyard which had all sorts of fruit trees growing in huge planters.
While everyone was assembling on Saturday afternoon before the ceremony began, the pianist friend and I shared more standards while the bride’s father rocked his trumpet.
He has toured with Wynton Marsalis, Maynard Ferguson, and Harry Connick, Jr. among others…
I will share lots of photos from the actual wedding ceremony in my second (future) post.
Here are a few observations:
The groom is very tall.
He has a wonderful family.
And he and my niece are very fond of each other.
If I am remembering correctly, they originally met when he was an assistant coach for her crew team.
They both went to the same college — although they didn’t overlap as undergraduates because he is a few years older — and their romance began when they both worked on the island of Elba in the Mediterranean one summer.
She was the cook and he was the gardener on the estate of a college professor.
She wrote a wonderful blog which documented many of her adventures on Elba — culinary and otherwise. You can click here to get a taste of her blog if you are curious…
One of the highlights of the ceremony on Saturday was the ring-bearer — their beloved dog companion named Dozer.
The ceremony was not-too-long and very sweet — culminating, of course, with a lovely kiss.
After this was dinner.
And an extraordinary sunset.
The proactive and very congenial wedding photographers grabbed the bride and groom for a sunset portrait…
Then we all danced for several hours in varying states of abandon to a great live band.
Dancing was interspersed with a few wedding games.
And the cutting of the cake…
One of the unplanned highlights of the night was when the band started playing the song “Uptown Funk” — which my younger nephew had previously memorized to perform in a talent show at his school.
One of the singers in the band gave my nephew a mic so that he could lead us in what became a Dionysian explosion of energy on the dance floor.
If you got tired of dancing, there was also a wall for Polaroid photos + written thoughts…
And lots of bittersweet ice cream…
I will devote a future blog post to the wedding ceremony itself — which included its own spontaneous surprise from their beloved ringbearer, Dozer.
Thank you to my niece and nephew-in-law for letting me blog about their wonderful wedding.
Thank you to everyone who pitched in to help make this such a loving and delicious and memorable wedding celebration.
Thank you to Julian Huarte with Couple of Dudes Photography, to Mary Bloom (a longtime family friend and professional photographer), and to everyone else whose photos of the wedding I have included in this blog post.
Thank you to Nina Vansuch, Michael Ricca, and Brian Patton for recording the two-song medley (included at the beginning of this post) with me many years ago. You can click here to hear more of our music at CD Baby.
And thank YOU for reading all the way to the end of this post!
amusicalifeonplanetearth 
What a great wedding – our daughter’s was a homemade do with everyone pitching in from the best man writing the whole ceremony to some of us making sugar paste roses and crocheting flowers for the bouquet. Your family made it everyone’s day, not just the couple’s. Every wedding I’ve been to this century or heard about has been totally individal.
Hurrah for homemade! I love the idea of crocheting flowers for a bouquet — which Could then last for years and years. You also summed up beautifully what I so appreciated about this event: somehow it did feel a bit like everyone’s day — not just the couple getting married. Thank you for reading and listening and commenting!
What a lovely post! = )
Robin Buck Refresh Interiors mindful design & feng shui 301.920.0678
Creating space for Love
Thank you for finding time to read and listen and comment, Robin. I am guessing you would savor the energetic flow and aesthetics of The Treman Center…
How lovely! We need happy news.
Yes. Many of my posts tend to be serious and a bit overwhelming. Time to balance them with something more buoyant and love-filled. Thank you for reading and listening and commenting, Cindy!
Wow, Will! I don’t know where to start–this looks like the best wedding *ever*! The attention to detail, without letting things get too precious and overwrought, is really fabulous. The kind of day you wish could last forever . . . Your niece ROCKS that red dress and the dress your sister wore was amazing, too. You have a very fine family . . . .
Thanks for reading, listening and commenting, KerryCan! The weekend was blessedly low on drama and high on cooperation/collaboration — although there WERE moments of anxiety, such as when my older sister and I drove at the last minute to pick up the bouquets and boutonnieres for the wedding party (waiting in a walk-in refrigerator in the basement of a nearby florist’s barn) which someone had forgotten to pick up earlier in the day…
Thank you for a posting full of positivity and fun. Have a beautiful weekend! Michael
Thank YOU for visiting my blog!!!
Always a great pleasure to me. Thank you for very interesting postings. Btw: My blog is privatizised, but i am “airing” on connected RSS-Portals, and automatically to @EslarnerZeitung (Twitter). Have a beautiful weekend! Michael
It looks like a wonderful weekend. There can never be too much love–or treats!
I agree. I am still savoring the honey and the pickles I took home after the wedding weekend was over… I also continue to savor the BLUE SKY photo from one of your recent posts. I keep coming back to it because (as I think I already commented on your site) it makes me take a big, serene breath every time I look at it… Thank you for reading and listening and commenting!
You’re welcome. I’m so pleased you like that photo as much as I do. 🙂
Yes. I have already looked at it twice this morning!
How wonderful to start my Sunday with your lovely post and gorgeous photos. Thank you, Will. What a hardworking and talented family. The venue is stunning, too. I look forward to part 2. Best to you, Will.
Thanks, Jennie! My family does know how to buckle down and get something done when a deadline approaches…Part two will feature a poem by ee cummings which my niece and her about-to-be-husband asked me and my partner to read during the ceremony. I was reluctant to do a post about their wedding because — from one perspective — it seemed somewhat show-offy and privileged. However, from another perspective it was a weekend full of beauty and love and respect and collaboration and fun — and I certainly need to be reminded that these qualities can co-exist on planet earth along with more disrespectful and dangerous human behaviors… Also my niece is so beautiful (and the blog she wrote while cooking on Elba is so charming) that I simply wanted to kvell a bit about her and her lovely husband (who is also quite easy on the eyes).
I love your words here, Will. I didn’t get the sense that it was show-offy at all. While the family may be privileged, the parts that stood out were hard work, family, love, and respect for one another. Really. Yes, these qualities can not only co-exist, they often lead the way and make their mark. The privileged are often the leaders in kindness, hard work and giving. So, way to go to your family, and congratulations to your beautiful niece. 😍
Beautiful. You bring so much joy to the post.
It was very fun to pore over the photos from the wedding and remember how it all unfolded 13 months ago… THANK YOU, as always, for reading and listening and commenting.
So many creative people pooling their talents! And when tables need setting up, everyone is part of creating.
Exactly. Everyone becomes part of “us” while working together on a common task.
Looks like you all had a wonderful weekend and a very personal experience. So many weddings are like something off a production line, that it fills me with joy to see something unique.
I do not attend many weddings, but I guess a fair number of them are held in hotel ballrooms with a band or DJ — which might end up feeling a bit like something off a production line? This one did have a lot of hand-made, hand-grown elements — which I guess is by definition the opposite of a production line! Thank you for reading and listening and responding. Your blog name — The Snail Of Happiness — continues to be one of my all-time favorites!
My niece used to work in a big hotel where there was a wedding pretty much every Saturday… she was so shocked to discover how similar every bride and every ceremony and every reception was. The best wedding I have ever attended was on the London Eye.
Your niece certainly had an insider’s view of the wedding industry. Is the London Eye the huge Ferris Wheel in London… What an exciting place for a wedding!
Thank you, Will, for this fabulous and heart-warming blog. As you know, sadly, Jerry and I couldn’t be there. You brought their special day alive for me. What a wonderful tribute to their love!
You are very welcome! Initially i was not a fan of spending a lot of money for such a special venue. I kept thinking, “Wouldn’t we have just as much fun if we rented a pavilion at Treman State Park for the day?” But once I experienced their wedding — with all of the heart-warming teamwork by cousins and friends and siblings and in-laws + everyone dressed up and enjoying the beauty of the venue — I understood that it was worth the expense… And I am very glad that distant cousins like you could enjoy this blog post from afar!!! Thanks for reading and listening!!! It’s only taken me three years to respond to your lovely comment.
Your nicely paced walk down Memory Lane wove together the images and scattered mental snapshots I had in my busy head. I too question big expensive weddings as a concept. But the fruit of love and creativity in this one was a real gift to everyone! Thanks for reminding us of a special time. 💜💜💜
I am not someone who takes a lot of photos, but I have been very grateful to have so many lovely images of their wedding to pore over in recent weeks… Remembering their wedding has been a balm/antidote to much of the daily news. Thank you for reading and listening and commenting!
Thank you for sharing this gorgeous, beauty- and joy-filled post…. what a wonderful family, and what a magnificent wedding! I’m looking forward to hearing more about Dozer, the ring bearer!
Dozer continued to be a lovely and beloved dog until he finally succumbed to kidney disease earlier this year… Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
What a beautiful place, family and ceremony.
And post!!
Thank you for reading/listening to this post! It is a very beautiful place in the middle of farmland not far from Ithaca, NY. Our family was lucky to be able to rent it for the weekend.
I don’t know you, and this is the first of your blog posts I’ve ever read, so I am amazed that you could take the subject of someone else’s wedding and make it so pleasantly readable to the end. It was personal and quietly joyful, and I was happy to share vicariously. Thank you!
You are very welcome. Thank YOU to taking time to read and listen! I waited a year to write about that wedding weekend. This this fall, as the days started getting shorter and the nights longer and the weather colder, I decided I needed to do a happy blog post. I am glad you enjoyed it!!!
This was a delight to read/view and a welcome antidote to all the unpleasant news. Thank you for assembling it all. I hope the beautiful couple have a long lifetime of shared happiness.
I stopped by to thank you for your like of one of my comments—I think on Frank Parker’s blog—and found this joyous post!
Cheers,
Annie
Thank you for making/taking time to read and listen to one of my blog posts. A big part of the pleasure and satisfaction of reading (or creating) a blog post for me is becoming acquainted with an ever-widening web of blog readers and writers.
So much has happened in the past three years! The happy couple are still happy, although their beloved dog Dozer recently died after a years-long case of kidney disease. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Just got another 50 letters to prospective Georgia voters into the mail on Friday. The work continues!!!
Thank you for sharing that lovely day with us! The place reminds me of a wedding venue just around the corner from where I live which has the distinction, as well, of being the birth place of the poet Cecil Day Lewis. One of these days I’ll write about kit on my blog. (Thanks for the follow btw.)
You are welcome! Thank YOU for taking time to read and listen. After I wrote this post I read a few blog posts about history and architecture in Britain, which reminded me how new/young much of the USA is…including the lovely converted barn where the wedding was held.
Excellent bridging between photos. What a wonderful memory to look back on years ahead. The family also are fun, spontaneous and that is wonderful. I also clicked on Adrianna’s blog – and found one of her blogs about cooking for the professor, and a vegan chocolate cake. Beautiful family, and days that one are wonderful to attend and remember.
Your post certainly captured the look of love, especially between your niece and her new husband. Nice arrangement of the song too. It’s interesting that you create such lengthly posts to share your music.
Thank you for spending MORE time sampling my blog! My posts do sometimes get a bit long. I will focus on shorter lengths in 2020. I usually start with a song and then I gather images (either from Pixabay or from my sister’s photo archives or a few from the web) and then I start writing… I look forward to reading more on your blog.For example, is it fun doing food demos? Maybe you have already written about that and I will find it when I explore your blog more fully…
What a pleasure to read and hear! Fabulous!
Wow. You are reading and listening to more than one blog post today. THANK YOU! Perhaps it’s time for me to start drafting my first blog post for 2020 (which I think will feature a wonderful song by Hoagy Carmichael and Johnny Mercer called “Skylark”). Have you ever painted a skylark?
Love Hoagy Carmical and Johnny Mercer! After I read your response, I looked up the Skylark and then audio clips of its song. (You gotta just love Google). It’s beautiful, so now it’s on my list to percolate, and let it inspire me. Thank you for the inspiration! Let’s see what happens….thank you again!
Hurrah for creative percolation….
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